New Year, Same You!
By Ellie Hearne
As many of us set resolutions for the new year or land on a nonthreatening “intention word” for 2020, I wanted to share my own approach to the same.
While I don’t usually set a new year’s resolution, as a coach I like to think I’m always learning and improving. And I recognize that life, people, and plans are replete with imperfections.
A few weeks’ back, I subscribed to Medium. Now I get some great content in my inbox every morning. But there’s a distinct theme. And I know that theme is a reflection of my perceived interests - the types of article I click on each morning. We are subject to the algorithms of our online life, after all.
Since I am, as noted, “always improving,” the topics won’t surprise you:
Hacking your time.
Becoming more productive.
How to go to bed at 9pm, read 3 books before midnight, and wake without an alarm.
The morning routine that guarantees my business will succeed.
The secret thing all successful people secretly do.
The nugget of wisdom a decorated veteran shared with me and me alone.
How this guy was a billionaire by age 24. (Hint: it had much to do with going to bed at 9pm.)
The benefits of meditation, journaling, forgoing caffeine, drinking more caffeine, taking naps, napping less, etc.
Whilst I snort at a lot of these articles, I enjoy them for the most part and occasionally do adapt my routine as a result.
But this content is mostly by and for the unencumbered. People who either don’t have dependents or are partnered with someone who cares for their dependents.
So I decided to take a stab.
Without further ado, let me present the morning routine of a successful entrepreneur who also has children and a, let’s say, realistic approach to screentime in the age of Netflix:
5:30am groggily wake to the sound of a crying child or baby. Pretend not to hear/see if partner will get up first.
5:45am re-wake to 4-year-old asking me to zip up the back of her Elsa dress, notice worrying presence of my lipstick on her lips, chin, and cheek.
5:50am mindlessly look at phone. Respond to 3 emails.
5:55am realize I’m mindlessly looking at phone, open Calm app to assuage screen guilt. Pause to recognize the irony of this. Continue scrolling.
6:02am still looking at phone. Check calendar for the day. Stuff phone under something to avoid further distraction.
6:03am head to kitchen with 4-year-old in tow. Partner and baby already in kitchen; am reminded of how lucky I am. Start to make breakfast. Remember that it’s important to eat a single banana and accompanied by hot water with a slice of lemon in it. Brew coffee instead. Serve 4-year-old some waffles.
6:06am begin negotiations with 4-year-old to get her to stay at the table and finish her waffles.
6:17am negotiations continue. Whole family now involved.
6:31am eat leftover waffle from daughter’s plate whilst holding baby on hip, begin to pack kids’ lunchboxes. Realize I’ve lost my phone. Remove pepperoni from leftover pizza, hope it passes muster with daughter’s vegetarian daycare. Remember today is show-and-tell for the letter W. Remove waffle box from recycling, internally debate how much to care about perceptions of other parents.
6:41am shower whilst partner takes over child duties.
6:50am put in contacts and apply moisturizer with “help” from 4-year-old. Put on clothes. Answer series of questions about god, baldness, and why public nudity is frowned upon. Broach topic of Elsa dress being inappropriate for sub-freezing weather (“Mum, the cold never bothered me anyway.”). Curse Disney corporation.
6:56am Notice baby formula on shoulder, change clothes.
6:59am find phone, now with 61 new screenshots and a mystery sugar-based substance obscuring the camera.
Happy new year - and best of luck with those resolutions. Remember: progress, not perfection. And a drop of caffeine never hurt anyone.
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Ellie Hearne is a leadership-communications expert and founder of Pencil or Ink. She has worked with Apple, Google, Kate Spade, Marriott, Morgan Stanley, Oracle, Pfizer, Piaget, Spotify, Starbucks, and Twitter, among others, and has coached numerous individuals and teams. Ellie is a productive procrastinator.